Pug Hill

Title: Pug Hill

Author: Alison Pace

Paperback: 320 pages

Publisher: Berkley Trade (May 2, 2006)

Summary:

Hope McNeil works at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's basement as an art restorer. She has a pathetic crush on Elliot, her co-worker, (who has a girlfriend), who she stares at and obsesses over, as she works on her Rothko painting, until she can get away to "Pug Hill," an actual true meeting ground for Pug Owners in Central Park. (Note, the following website, http://pughill.org/, depicts an irate founder of the Pug meet group mentioned in the book and on the title. John, the founder of "Pug Hill," is quite upset over Alison Pace's use of his trade marked "Pug Hill" and he feels she's exploited his meet group. I don't know if this is a credible source, but I thought I should include it in this book review because it exists in cyberspace, and because I'm wondering if anyone knows about any response Alison Pace has given with respect to this matter. If so, let me know.)

Alison Pace compares "Pug Hill" to "Tiffany's," as in "Breakfast at Tiffany's." Holly Golightly goes to "Tiffany's" in NY to cheer herself up, and Hope McNeil goes to "Pug Hill" in NY to cheer up. She even finds comfort in watching the little dancing white ball of the Zoloft commercial while she is in bed under the covers hating life. Gawed. ( I'm rolling my eyes here.) She is dating Evan, a superflous jerk of a boyfriend, who she stays with because she remembers the one time he was nice to her on the phone and out of habit of having him around and because of her need not to feel lonely. But, he gets on her damn nerves and she secretly pretends she is dating Elliot instead of Evan. Well, that relationship with Evan doesn't last long. The relationship fizzles out after Hope decides to take an Overcoming Anxiety of Public Speaking class to help with her anxiety about her parents request that she give a speech at their 40th wedding anniversary. Evan never asks her why she is deciding to take the course. Evan is only concerned that the 6 week-course takes place on Thursdays, a day of the week that could be spent going places together. Evan breaks up with her, and though she misses him somewhat, she is relieved; yet she is upset that she is a single 31-year-old and alone. (Argh.)

Her Mother, Caroline, is an overpowering force in her life, who thinks that both her daughters, Hope and Darcy, date shmucks. Her Father, Henry, is a model Dad, whose sole purpose in life is to be a Dad. Hope, however, feels neglected by her parents because they are constantly worrying or always concerning themselves with her prettier Sister, Darcy, who at the moment is dating, C.P., (Crested Possum), a honky Native American, Zen/ Buddhist wannabe, whose real name is Bradley Klein, and whose "inner guide" wants him to move to a commune in Albuquerque NM. The man insists on coming to the Anniversary party only if he can stay on a tent out in the yard. Henry buys him a tent, but C.P. refuses to sleep on a tent sold by an evil corporation. So there's Darcy sleeping with her freaky boyfriend on a tent that C.P. approves of and brought himself. Nice. (Barf).

Well, at work, her boss May is going on a year-long leave. She appoints Elliot to be in charge while she is gone. Sergei, a co-worker, insists that the three of them meet at a bar and celebrate. They all agree. And, when Sergei leaves Hope and Elliot alone, guess what happens? NOTHING. He hails a cab for her drunk self. Nice. (Barf).

She has Pamela, a judgmental friend who is brutally honest about Hope's shunning of her Jewish roots. Hope is Catholic from her father's side and Jewish from her Mother's side. She has the guilt/guilt down pact. Pamela insists that Hope embrace her singledom but only long enough for Hope to realize that she better sign up for online dating sites to say buh-bye to her singledom. (Sigh). And Pamela is not too appreciative of "Pug Hill." Her Friend, Kara, on the other hand, loves "Pug Hill;" and she takes her little daughter with her to join Hope there. Kara is a picture of perfection. Perfect hair, body, clothes, apartment, marriage, life. Gawed. And one day, when hope visits, she realizes all is not as it seems. Tensions abound in a busy toddler household. But it's still a happy marriage. (Sigh).

In her speech class, one assignment is called, "The One That Got Away." Well, that leads us to Benji Brown. She was her High School Boyfriend who loved to make 80's mixed tapes for hope and always did nice things for her. He's the one that got away when they both went to different colleges. And guess what happens? She gives a speech at the anniversary party, and then runs into Benji the next day while walking her parent's dog at the beach. Surprise, surprise! It's "Ben" now. (Gawed).

Review:
This book does not deliver. The Pugs on the cover is what attracted me to the book, seeing as I am owned by a Pug myself. When I realized it was a Chick Lit book, I sighed and decided to delve on. Well, it came up short. I was even open minded about Alison Pace's humor, but what started out as a laugh ended up as a yawn.

This is the first book I read of Ms. Pace's. And I think it will be my last. I hate to say it, but this book is the type of book that you, as a reader, think to yourself as you read along, "I could freaking write better than this garbage!" Quite frankly, the book just bores me. I seriously do not recommend it, unless you have time to burn and want to read it just to prove to yourself that what I am telling you is true. I just couldn't even stand references to "Woody Allenesque" scenes or that she threw in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and Flock of Seagulls into this boring mix or concoction of bad Chick Lit that swallowed up my money and left me with the bitter taste of wasted time. And I hate that the book opens with this Kermit the Frog quote from "The Muppet Movie":
Someday we'll find it.
-Kermit the Frog

Someday we'll find what? My $14.00?

Well, at least I found out about Kalabati. So all was not a waste. I don't do "the Lion," but I do the "One Nostril." I find it helps me relax. Thanks Ms. Pace. :)

Opening Line: For Holly Golightly, there was always Tiffany's.

Closing Line: And a girl like me, I'm pretty good at that.

Rating: D. Mediocre

Started: Sunday, July 20, 2008 at Approx. 4 p.m.

Finished: Monday, July 21, 2008 at Approx. 2 p.m.

Interruptions: Yes! (Argh!!!!)

Comments: Aim was 100 pgs per hour, but kept being interrupted until the late evening. :)